Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series .
As I’m driving I momentarily debate whether I should hit a grocery store, but that seems like a mistake in the making. The last thing I want do is get trapped in a grocery store with a horde of zombies after me. If anything what I need to is get home and to do that I need to know what the zombie road conditions are. I speed dial the Zombii Customer support line, and I instantly hear the sound of hold music.
“Welcome to the Zombii Co. customer support line. We’re sorry to put you on hold, but we’ll get to your call as soon as possible. Hold times are currently longer than usual because of the zombie apocalypse,” I’m blithely told by an automated enthusiastic female voice.
“Fuck!” I mutter to myself. Of course the other preppers are also calling in at the same time, while likely making their way to their own bunkers. That or more likely the unprepared people who didn’t expect that the zombie apocalypse would happen. I’d laugh at them, but they’re effecting me.
“I pay for platinum support. That should get me past all the other members who don’t pay for that level of support,” I growl at the phone.
No response, just the chintzy hold music continuing to play as I drive.
I put the phone on speaker and toss it on the passenger seat. I just need to focus on getting home and if I get there without incident, all the better. I still have my .45 if it comes down to it.
I drive my car until I’m close to the highway. It’s already packed with blissfully ignorant commuters trying to get home. They probably don’t even know that the zombie apocalypse is already here, but if I get into that moving parking lot, it’ll at least take me an hour to get home and that’s assuming the news doesn’t break that the zombies are here. If that happens, I’ll probably have to walk home.
The hold music is still playing and I glare at the phone. If I could get on the line with a Zombii Co. rep they could tell me what the best route to take is, but they’re busy helping other customers instead of me, even though I’ve paid for platinum support.
I hear a honk and look in the rear view window behind me. The guy in the car flips me the bird and honks again. I’m holding him up from getting into that moving death trap he wants to join. I turn on my blinker and pull away from the line of cars waiting to get on the highway. I’ll take some back roads. I’ve practiced driving on them before, for just this occasion, and I may as well do it now.
I pull away and the guy who honked at me proceeds to do the same thing! What’s his problem?!