Learning how to stand up after you've fallen

When you work on changing habits, it’s important to give yourself enough leniency to accept that you will occasionally slip back into those habits as you work to change them. Even though you are consciously focused on changing those habits, you are dealing with ingrained behaviors that have likely been performed for quite a long time without any real thought given to the effect those habits have on you.

You will make mistakes occasionally. You will be tempted sometimes and occasionally you’ll fall. And you can choose to blame yourself for what you did, and fall further into a spiral of guilt, or you can take a deep breath, claim responsibility for what you did and re-commit to making the change you know you need to make. And if you can catch yourself when you start to repeat the behavior and you stop yourself from fully following through, congratulate yourself, because you’re learning how to change that behavior. Then keep on focusing on making that conscious change that allows you to change the bad habit into a productive behavior.

It can be hard to change a behavior or a habit. Sometimes, in the process of that change, you can be filled with such longing and desire for what you did. You know what you did wasn’t good, that it hurt you and other people, but you still want it, because it also fulfilled some kind of need. In those moments when you feel that need, be gentle, but firm with yourself. Stick to your boundaries, but sit sit with those desires and feel them. By acknowledging them, you don’t deny their presence. Ask them how you can manifest them in a healthy way, and if you can’t find a healthy way at the time, then be patient and just sit with them. Be aware of them and eventually they’ll fade away.

Recognize that a bad habit or behavior is performed to fulfill a need or desire. Yes, the behavior may seem irrational, but if a need is met a person will indulge in a habit, even if it does no good for that person. By acknowledging that there is a need the habit is fulfilling, you can get to the root of the bad habit and start dealing with that feeling. By talking with your that need or desire you can start to develop a healthier way of satisfying it, so that it doesn’t hurt you and others, but also allows it to no longer be a need.

Bad habits can be changed. We just need to be consciously aware of what causes them. Then we need to focus on changing that, but allow ourselves the space and forgiveness to occasionally slip and fall so that when we do get back on our feet we do so with renewed purpose and inspiration toward changing.

Workshop Reminder!!!

June 7th, 2008 from Noon to 6pm

Come to The Guiding Tree at 4831 SE Division St, Portland OR 97206 for the follow workshops offered by author, innovator, and life coach, Taylor Ellwood:

Body Consciousness: A new paradigm for embracing your body and living your life

In this interactive workshop, we will combine reflective internal meditation with breathing practices and path working techniques that will leave you feeling connected to your body and revitalized in how you live your life. If you

Categories: classes
Tags: body consciousness, learning from mistakes, Life coach