Imagine Your Reality

Interview with Karen Howells about Relationship Building and Networking.

The latest episode of Social Media Coach focuses on the Social in Social Media.

In this video blog I discuss trust and where it fits in with social media, but also with networking in general. Relationships of any kind only thrive when there is trust between every person.

Something I see a lot of on social media is self-promotion, and it’s pretty hard not to self-promote yourself on social media. But I do think there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable self-promotion. I’ve written in the past about being vain on social media when you only retweet mentions of yourself, which I consider to be an unacceptable form of self-promotion.

So what’s an acceptable form of self-promotion? I think giving people news updates about projects you are working on can be a useful form of self-promotion, or even trying to get them involved with a contest can be another form of acceptable self-promotion.

Sharing information is also, in its own way self-promotion. By establishing your rep as an expert with the information you offer, you do promote yourself and your services. Of course, you are also building your relationships in the same process, and helping people out with the information you provide.

Self-promotion can be good when it is done as a way of helping others, while also letting them know you can be a resource to them. In fact, at that point self-promotion is less about promoting yourself and more about making people aware of what you can do and how you can help them. It’s still self-promotion in the sense that you want people to think of you as a resource, but it’s not about vanity, so much as it’s about awareness. So some self-promotion is good, when it is done tastefully, and in a manner where the main objective is to inform and help others.

Remember first and foremost social media is about connection and helping people out. It’s not about you…it’s about them.

I was at several networking events last night and have been at quite a few week this week, with a few more happening today and tomorrow. It’s fair to say this is one of the busiest weeks I’ve experienced in the networking I’ve done.

But something has been on my mind, both in regards to in-person networking and social networking. It is quite simply…What does it really mean to connect with someone?

I’ve probably met over the last few days at least a hundred new people I didn’t know before. And I really don’t know them now…I just know a bit about them…what they do, what they might need, and their faces. And hopefully their names…

I don’t know their hobbies, where they want go on vacation, how vulnerable they might feel in a given moment, etc. And I may not need to know some, any, or all of that. But then again…maybe I do.

Seems to me that connecting with people really involves more than just finding out name, number, and rank, or what they do. It involves getting involved with those people. For instance, yesterday I stepped up and became the vise president of the ODN oregon chapter’s programming…which basically means I schedule speakers for the networking events we put on…but it also gives me a chance to get more involved with this community I’m participating in.

And that, to me is just is…participation. Are you involved in your communities, or are you a handshake, a face, and an elevator speech? Or a tweet with a link to your latest offer?

Connecting with a person, organization etc, involves a commitment to the relationship. It’s not something you can do casually. As one of mentors has said, “You’ve got to show up, and then you’ve got to join in and help out.” This is true regardless of what social situation you are in.

What does it really mean to connect? It means that you can relate to the person on more than just the superficial level. You discover in each other something that makes you want to know more about that person and share in the experiences that person is under going. Call it rapport, but it is more than just that. It is an authentici and genuine desire to see past what the person can do for you, to actually seeing the person and recognizing the person as such. Not always easy to do…it takes time to get past the superficial…but I think it can be worth it on so many different levels.

Article on social media and bribery, specifically how companies bribe followers using social media and product placement/positioning.

Some excellent advice on achieving balance with your finances, with more than just you’re checkbook.

Facebook demographics changing as older generations start using it more.

An interesting article on social media “Experts”. My take on this: When you claim to be an authority, you’d better be able to back it up with actions.

This week’s radio show is with Bob Craft, from yourclassroom.com. Bob is one of the presenters at the Business Northwest Conference (See below for more details).

Thoughts on Virtual Education and Social Media

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I used to be a ph.d candidate in a program for Literacy, rhetoric, and social practice. I obviously DID NOT get my Ph.d, as I don’t have the three letters after my name, and I get a lot more sleep than pretty much any academic professor I ever met does.  But while I was in that program, one of my areas of interest and research was focused on virtual education, e-learning and how students used technology in general. I worked with a compatriot of mine, Joe Dudley to do some research into virtual classrooms, and student usage of technology, because we both found the crossover between education and technology fascinating.

I still find it interesting, but more as a marketer and business person and less as an academic concerned with e-literacy. I still question the benefits of virtual education, but I also see it proliferating in a variety of ways in the business word through teleclasses, webinars, and even virtual conferences and microlessons in twitter.

It seems to me that virtual education is more of a reality today, as a complement of in-person education. I don’t see in-person education being replaced by virtual education, but I do think virtual education provides some opportunities as well, provided you have the technology to access the virtual technology.

And where does social media fit into all of this? Because the medium of communication is changing so much through social media, technology is becoming more of an integral reality in our lives. How we communicate is changing to such a point that we can reach across government boundaries a bit more easily, can almost bring the internet down with the death of a celebrity, and perhaps most importantly can change how we connect with each other.

However, it should also be noticed that while the medium of communication changes, what is being communicated about hasn’t changed. Twitter is starting to become a haven for spammers who relentlessly tweet about their products and services with little consideration, if any about who is reading their tweets. The automation of tweets provides opportunity for people to become ghosts in the shell. They appear to be there, but really aren’t and may not even care if you notice they aren’t there, as long as they can drive people to their sites. And of course the death of a celebrity suddenly has a lot more meaning than anything happening in Iran. And if any of this strikes you as absurd or unreal, it is in fact all too real, and speaks a lot to what we communicate about, what we consider significant, as well as how that shapes what people in general will focus on when it comes to education. My point really is that what social media really reveals is how much our focus is ultimately on material gain, morbid fascination with the life and death of someone famous, and also trying to get as much out of a social media network as possible without necessarily being on said network.

And tying that back into virtual education…Virtual education can provide a model of how social media can work when it focuses on showing how people can interact to not merely learn, but also form genuine relationships. The relationships we create, as well as how we sustain those relationships dictate how we use the technology we use to have those relationships.

Upcoming Events

Business Northwest: Virtual Conference on using Today’s Technology to get your business message out to the world

Welcome to the Business Northwest 2009 Summer Conference “Getting Your Business Message Out In Today’s Economy With Today’s Technology”.

This is the conference that comes to You! Over 20 speakers and a great Keynote Panel. $8.50 get you full access for 30 days! Register now at http://www.businessnorthwest.org/conference/ and watch, interact with speakers, join forums and get the conference directory. Sessions begin opening at 9:30am July 9th until July 11 and will be available for viewing for 30 days after that.

Topics include:

• Atomic Marketing
• Practical Social Media
• Training the Youtube Generation
• and much more!

Why do I need Social Networking for my Business? Yes, you can do it less than one hour a week.

Social networking is a hot topic in businesses today. Many of us are not sure how it helps grow our business or acquire new clients or where we will have the time to add one more thing to our hectic lives. However, one thing is for sure, if we don’t come and find out, we will never have answers to these questions.

In this program, Taylor Ellwood will explain what social networking is, why it’s important to be on these sites, and how it can benefit you and your business. Hew will explain how to automate your social networking presence so you only need to spend one hour a week and still have time to run your business and live your life. In this class you will learn:

• What Linkedin, Facebook, Biznik, Twitter are and why it’s important to be on these sites or some of them.
• How to get clients and business from these sites.
• How to automate your online presence so are spending minimum time and effort, yet getting maximum returns.
• What a status bar is and why it’s a good idea to update it regularly.
• How these sites can be used to obtain recommendations and testimonials from your clients.
• The do’s and don’ts of Social networking and how to maintain a professional profile on each site.

Taylor will not only explain, but also demonstrate the benefits of social networks, and show you how you can attract more clients to your business.

Date: Thursday, July 23rd 2009

Time: 11:30pm to 2pm

Price: $35.00 per person, Lunch included

Location: 607 Main Street Suite 240, Oregon City, 97045

To register please RSVP with Diane Dahlins at diane [at] page10accounting.com. Check and credit cards only please, when rsvping.

This week’s radio interview is with Jason Miletsky, C0-author of Perspectives on Marketing. We discuss his book, what it was like to write it with his co-author, and perspectives on publishing and social media. Next week’s radio interview is with Tom Cochrane of TKC Solutions about the upcoming video conference on how businesses are using technology to succeed in this economy.

Sometimes I forget…

Today I attend a talk by Charles Hude on Relationship selling. Sometimes I forget that what really makes a business succeed is relationships. You’d think I’d know this after six years of being involved in industries where relationships are an essential part of success, but sometimes it is hard to keep that perspective, in an economy that is down. However as Charles pointed out, and others have as well, using the down economy as an excuse for not doing well is ultimately not examining your own role in why business may or may not be going so well.

The truth is, what we put out there, not just in terms of attitude, but also actions, connections, and relationship building does effect our own business. When we come into a situation feeling desperate, people will feel and note it, even if only on a subconscious level. When we come into a situation with confidence and a focus on the other person, s/he will also note it.

Most importantly, right now what is important is thinking of each other and doing our best to support our network. When we take care of our network, we show the people in it that we care and we are willing to go the extra mile for them…and we also tell them what we need and trust they will do the same for us.

It can be easy to forget that, in the rush to try and get business. And so it’s always a good reminder to go to networking with a focus on learning at least one interesting fact about who you network with, which doesn’t overtly relate to your business. By doing so, you focus on building a relationship with the person that extends beyond the immediate needs of your business with that person. And in fact you may learn something which can help you refer that person to someone else in need, or refer another business to that person. In that way you create a network where everyone benefits and the success is shared all around. It takes time and patience, but don’t forget it can pay off in the long run in many different ways.

Book Reviews

Twitter: Tips, Tricks, and Tweets by Paul McFedries

Although I’m already conversant with twitter, I did finding reading this book useful, because it turned me on to some twitter applications I didn’t know about. The author’s enthusiasm for the technology is evident in the book and in the tips and suggestions he provides for how to make twitter a useful experience. And whether you are a beginner or an expert, you will learn more about twitter in this book, as well as how to take advantage of all it’s technology and the applications it provides.

The one issue I have wit this book is a minor one. As time goes on and the technology advances, it will become less relevant. It’s mainly focused on how to use the technology, so while that is useful, it doesn’t present strategies for how to use it beyond being familiar with the technology itself.

4 out five tweets

Perspectives on Marketing by Jason Miletsky and Michael Hand

Right from the beginning I found this book to be an engaging read, which showed two (and occasionally three) perspectives on the relationship between clients and agencies in the marketing world. While this book can definitely shed some light on the relationships between agencies and clients, it also will give small businesses some perspectives on marketing and client relationships as well. What I really like however is the rapport between the two authors. At times they might disagree with each other, but throughout the book the honesty and clarity they bring to the book shows through and provides insight on their own relationships as well as the relationship between clients and agencies, as well as how to improve those relationships. Highly recommended as a must read for its unique format and approach to the subject.

5 out of 5 marketers.

Upcoming Events

Why do I need Social Networking for my Business? Yes, you can do it less than one hour a week.

Social networking is a hot topic in businesses today. Many of us are not sure how it helps grow our business or acquire new clients or where we will have the time to add one more thing to our hectic lives. However, one thing is for sure, if we don’t come and find out, we will never have answers to these questions.

In this program, Taylor Ellwood will explain what social networking is, why it’s important to be on these sites, and how it can benefit you and your business. Hew will explain how to automate your social networking presence so you only need to spend one hour a week and still have time to run your business and live your life. In this class you will learn:

• What Linkedin, Facebook, Biznik, Twitter are and why it’s important to be on these sites or some of them.
• How to get clients and business from these sites.
• How to automate your online presence so are spending minimum time and effort, yet getting maximum returns.
• What a status bar is and why it’s a good idea to update it regularly.
• How these sites can be used to obtain recommendations and testimonials from your clients.
• The do’s and don’ts of Social networking and how to maintain a professional profile on each site.

Taylor will not only explain, but also demonstrate the benefits of social networks, and show you how you can attract more clients to your business.

Date: Thursday, July 23rd 2009

Time: 11:30pm to 2pm

Price: $35.00 per person, Lunch included

Location: 607 Main Street Suite 240, Oregon City, 97045

To register please RSVP with Diane Dahlins at diane [at] page10accounting.com. Check and credit cards only please, when rsvping.

This week’s radio interview is with Tshombe Brown. Next week’s interview is with Barbara Saunders of SECP.

My latest article on Biznik is about the topic:  How to Manage and Automate your online Social network

How Does Your Behavioral Style Influence Potential Clients?

Earlier this week, I attended a sales seminar on behavioral selling by Black Belt Business Solutions. We used the DiSC profile and it was quite fascinating to me, because I found it to be surprisingly accurate. I learned that I tend to have a high amount of Dominant and Influencer Traits, with a moderate level of analytical and almost not existent level of steady, which is to say I prefer a fast pace.

What I got out of this class is an awareness of just how much my personality traits influence my interactions with people who have similar or different types of personality traits. The benefit of that is that I can adapt some of my actions and responses to different behavior patterns in order to relate better to other people. Better communication can lead to more sales, and most importantly better relationships.

What are you willing to do to connect with people? Are you willing to study your behaviors and how those behaviors can effect other people? It’s important to learn how we interact with other people so that we can improve those interactions. Since taking this class, I’ve already noted an improvement in how I connect with some people, because instead of relating to them from my behavioral strengths, I’m trying to meet them part way, on some of their comfort levels, which in turn can increase my own comfort level with them, because I’m actually relating better to them. That’s pretty much a win, when you think about it…instead of being uncomfortable with each other, because you don’t feel like you relate to each other, you change your behavior and find a way to create and make the relationship happen.

Upcoming Classes:

How to Use a Blog to Promote Your Business

When: Tuesday, April 14 2009 6-8:30pm

Where: 1562 Se Tacoma St. Portland or 97206

Cost: $75.00

You’ve heard of blogs, online journals where people write about different subjects and can sometimes use them to market your business, but how does it work? In this class, I’ll explain what a blog is, how it can promote your business and how you can automate it.

In this class you will learn:

• What a blog is
• How to set-up a wordpress or blogger blog
• How to use feedburner to automate your blogs
• What blog directory sites to get on to promote your blog
• How to get your blog entries onto Twitter
• How to use blog widgets with your blog
• How to let people subscribe to your blog by email
• How to make your blog professional and tasteful

How to use Linkedin and Biznik to promote your business

When: Tuesday April 21st 2009 6-8:30pm

Where: 1562 Se Tacoma St. Portland or 97206

Cost: $75.00

Linkedin and Biznik are two of the more popular social networking sites available to professionals and entrepreneurs, but often I hear that people aren’t sure how to use these sites or how they will get you clients. I was once even told that someone thought that Linkedin was just another job hunting site. In this class, I clear up the confusion about these sites and show you how to automate them.

You will learn:

• How to set up a profile on Linkedin and Biznik
• How to use the Status update on Linkedin
• How to use the Question and Answer forum on Linkedin
• How to use Biztalk on Biznik
• What the groups feature is and how to use it on Linkedin and Biznik
• Why the recommendation/compliment can be helpful for growing your business.
• Why writing an article/putting on an event can be useful for raising your visibility.
• The protocol for inviting people into your network

How to use Facebook and Twitter

When: Tuesday April 28th 2009 6-8:30pm

Where: 1562 Se Tacoma St. Portland or 97206

Cost: $75

Facebook and Twitter are two social networking sites which are increasingly becoming prominent in the social media world, but how can you use these sites to grow your business, and is it really worth your time? I’ll explain how to use and automate these sites, so you can grow your business and still have time to live your life. In this class you will learn:

• How to setup a profile on facebook and create a fan page for your business.
• How to create an event listing on facebook.
• How to balance between personal and professional on facebook.
• What twitter is and what tools to use to make twitter useful.
• How to set up an rss feed from your blog to twitter via twitter feed.
• How to automate your status updates to different websites so you only have to update through twitter.
• The etiquette for using Twitter

How to use Plaxo, MySpace, and i-list

When: Monday May 4, 2009: 6-8:30pm

Where: 1562 Se Tacoma St. Portland or 97206

Cost: $75

When people hear about MySpace, they may think of teenagers and rock bands, but did you know that Seniors and Baby Boomers are increasingly using it? Learn how to use MySpace to reach that part of your client base, while also learning about Plaxo and how you can automate your presence on it. I-list is a site which allows you to list events on Facebook, Twitter, and other sites, as well as promote those events to your contacts on your email. In this class you will learn:

• Learn how to set up a profile on Plaxo
• Learn how to automate Plaxo
• Learn how to set up a profile on Myspace
• Learn why MySpace is for more than just kids and why you may need to use it to grow your business.
• How to post a blog on MySpace
• How to use i-list to announce your events to craigslist, facebook, gmail, twitter, and other social media sites.
• How to set-up a profile on i-list.

RSVP Taylor at imagineyourreality@gmail.com or 503-869-0163 to sign up for the class.

Cost per class is 75 USD. Total cost for all four classes = 300 USD. If you sign up for all the classes, when you first RSVP me, I’ll give you a special rate of 250 USD for all four classes.

Next week I’ll be resuming my radio show with an interview with Steven Savage and Bonnie Raith about Fan to Pro, which is a blog that looks at how to take your fan interests and turn them into professional jobs or businesses.

Each week I’ve been focusing on a different facet of business and what makes that business successful, but for this week I want to focus on something else, which I consider to be just as important, though not as often voiced. I want to focus on Thanksgiving…Not the holiday Thanksgiving, though obviously that lends itself to the theme of this week’s newsletter, but the act of giving thanks.

I’ve said before, as have many others, that the key to marketing is relationships. But stepping away from that business perspective, I’d also say that the key to any relationship of any type is based on appreciation of what each person brings to the relationship. No one likes to be taken for grant or not considered and yet it is very easy to do just that, especially in a culture where the focus is on being an individual as opposed to recognizing the integral relationships of family and community.

Thanksgiving is a day, in the U.S. where we are show our Thanks. People gather with family or friends for one day out of the year to see each other and share time and perhaps genuine thanks for each other. Yet how often do we take time to share that genuine appreciation every day to the people who are important to us?

In business, it’s important to follow up, to show genuine concern and interest in your client, but it’s equally important to show that same concern with the other people in our lives, with family and friends, our children and our parents, and our wife or husband. So today when you celebrate Thanksgiving, but more importantly tomorrow and each day after, take a moment to express how grateful you are to the people in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving. Have a safe holiday and lots of fun.

Each day, in many different ways, we communicate. Sometimes we know we are doing it and other times we might be surprised at what we’re communicating. Communication is about more than word or even body language. It’s also about your emotions and your attitude. If you go into a communication situation with a poor attitude or a scarcity mentality then that is exactly what you will manifest in your situation. The reason for that is because the scarcity mentality is brought into the conversation and all it looks for or manifests is what the person doesn’t have. A person with a scarcity mentality will generally have a negative outlook about life and miss the opportunities that are available or drive them away with the negativity they exude.

Approaching a situation with a positive attitude or abundance mentality will inevitably influence the communication toward producing more abundance. You can tell when a person has an abundance mentality by the way the person acts in a conversation. S/he is asking good questions, is generally upbeat and is somebody you want to be around. This person definitely wants to manifest abundance and doesn’t let anyone get in his or her way.

I believe in the axiom that where the attention goes is where the energy flows. Where you put your attention is where your energy goes. If you put your attention into a scarcity mentality then that is what you get. If you put your attention to an abundance mentality then that is what you will get…Mind you, just having a good attitude won’t cut it. You have to be willing to go out there and look for opportunities and do the work, but if you have an abundance mentality about, you will find that opportunities come to you easier than if you approach a situation with a scarcity mentality.

The saying that you can win more bees with honey then vinegar also applies. What is it you are communicating to people? Are you communicating your scarcity, what you don’t have, or why a situation doesn’t work out, or are you communicating your abundance, appreciating what you have and also being open to letting more manifest into your life?

Remember that how you approach a situation determines what you get out of that situation…will it be abundance or scarcity?

I just finished my fifth weekend of life coach training. One more weekend to go, which will happen in March. This weekend was intense. It was actually the final weekend for most of my cohort, who graduated. I’ll graduate next month, because I started the program a month later. This happens occasionally and I had a really good reason for not being there. The graduation ceremony was moving in its own way. I was asked what I had had gotten from life coaching, what I had given up as a result of life coaching, and what I planned to offer to life coaching.

What I’ve gotten: A lot more honesty and openness with myself and other people. I feel like I know a lot more of what I want for my life because of life coaching.

What I’ve given up: The dishonesty with myself and others.

What I plan to offer: Continued participation in my community and continuing to build my community.

I learned a process this weekend, where the client tells a story about a particualr pattern, as well as the thoughts that motivate the actiosn in the story…and then the client figures out how to break the pattern. I thought this was really an insightful process. I had it used with a pattern in my life, which has bothered me for a while and when the process was finished I felt like I had definite steps and a plan of action to use that could help me create a new and healthier pattern.

We also wrote testimonials for each other. Both writing those testimonials and receiving them was very affirming. I learned a lot from the people I worked with and evidently they learned a lot from me as well. I’ll be getting some of those testimonials posted on my website: http://www.imagineyourreality.com

At the after graduation dinner party, Feroshia asked all of us what we were before we became a life. Before I was a life coach I was a lot less honest with myself.

I’ve got one more weekend, in March, and then I’m a certified Life coach, but my learning won’t be finished. The relationships may change, the situation may be different, but I will continue growing and networking. But this weekend made me feel hopeful for my future as a person and that’s a good step to make.